阎王收税

阎王新近又纳了一个后妃，为了安置后妃，他设了一个“冥府黑暗管理处”，让后妃当头儿，总理冥界。
下面的各级部门为了与阎王保持一致，纷纷建立各级的黑暗管理处。
眨眼间，冥府的各项开支像发酵的面团，蓬蓬松松地发开了。
不几日，连阎王的薪水也快开不出了。

阎王的鬼点子多，他眉头一皱，计上心来。
召开了冥界经济大会，商讨如何开源节流、缩小赤字的大问题。
会上决定，向小鬼们征收“我爱冥界特别税”，为了减轻小鬼们一贯就很沉重的负担，规定此税不能超过小鬼平均收入的10%。
会后阎王亲发了冥界第147号文件，指示各级鬼机关要依文件行事。

各级鬼官鬼吏们呕心呖血，一级一级地往下定指标，实行责任制。
很快到了最基层的小鬼们身上。
小鬼们一听说还要交10%的我爱冥界税，当时就瘫了一大片。
醒来后，冤死鬼王五说：“这10%的税和其它的税加起来，是我们全年收入的一半多，不行，我们不能交。
”其它的鬼也有同感，随声附合。

阎王左等右等见收不上来税，急得像陀镙一样在阎罗殿上团团转。
他想：这些小鬼们素质真是差，连这点爱国税都不肯交。
于是，他命鬼差把孔子叫来了，对他说：“孔丘，你收过徒，讲过学，是个教育家，我封你为宣传部长，去把那些小鬼们教育一番，给税收上来吧！”孔子生前还没有受到过如此高的荣誉，当时受宠若惊，跪下磕了几个响头，连呼阎王圣明。

孔子上任后，接连发表了五百篇文章，像什么《交税是爱冥界的表现》《特别税取之于鬼，用之于鬼》《交税是道德高尚的鬼，不交税是卑鄙无耻的鬼》《不交税禽兽不如》……这些文章立即在小鬼们中间引起了轩然大波，他们对孔子还是很尊敬的，听他如此说，便认为自己真的是道德不高尚的鬼了。
为了作一个有益于冥界的鬼，作一个道德高尚的鬼，作一个不是禽兽不如的鬼，他们都咬着牙把税交上了。
阎王见孔子的办法效果显著，当场赏他一座豪华别墅。

没过多久，阎王又感到囊中羞涩、袋中空泛，于是再次动了鬼心眼。
他要收“黑暗管理费”，每鬼10元。
众小鬼苦不堪言，私下里商定都不交。
阎王见还是收不到钱，故技重使，连夜召见孔子。
孔子写了一千篇文章也没有收上一分钱。
原来，小鬼们经过认真观察、仔细思量，发现道德品质的高低与是否交税无关，有些鬼差们贪污受贿，还不是照样被授予“高尚道德鬼”荣誉称号？(鬼故事:http:///转载请保留!)

阎王无奈，把渴望长生不老，但终于被自己带进地府的秦始皇找来了。
秦始皇一直埋怨阎王没有把他的名字从生死薄上划掉，这时听阎王诉苦，没好气的说：“谁不交就打谁，再不交就打入十八层地狱！”阎王听他一语道破天机，大喜过望，立刻封他为收税钦差。
秦始皇下到基层，见到不交税的小鬼就让鬼差用铁棍往死里打，打得那些小鬼们哇哇直哭，不得不把税金双手奉上。
就这样，秦始皇在阴间里又威风了一会。

隔了三个月，阎王要逗后妃开心，决定在花园中连唱十八天大戏。
可冥府金库里又是空空如也，像三天没吃饭的人拉了四天肚子。
怎么办呢？阎王叫手下鬼去检验全冥界的鬼，说是他怀疑有人混进冥界想搞活动，所以要用先进的仪器测验一下。
当然，每鬼必须上交检验费１０元。
谁拒绝检验谁就是奸细，将打入十八层地狱，永世不得翻身。

此令一出，冥界大乱。
一年三百六十五日遭受税刀税剑的众小鬼不服秦始皇的严刑逼税，纷纷斩木为兵，揭竿而起。
瞬时，冥界里出现了七十二路烟尘，三十六路贼寇。
阎王见此情景，急得像大跳蚤，在阎罗殿上蹦来蹦去。
忽有宣传部长和收税钦差来报，说孙武善于用兵，可以让他统兵百万去讨伐各路反贼，平息冥界叛乱。

阎王一听，拍着鬼爪子说：“对啊，我怎么忘了？”他命手下鬼差四处寻找孙武，三个月后，终于在阴山背后的一个小庙里发现了他。
可孙武不识抬举，竟然拒绝了阎王的邀请。
阎王大发雷霆，说要把孙武打入十八层地狱。
可一想到自己有求于他，强压住心中的怒气，命鬼差再次去请。
“你们抬也要把他抬来！”鬼差领命，不多时就回来了，手里拿着一封信。
信是孙武写的，“大王，慎战！与老百姓作战必败无疑，这是道败！我去也。
”

阎王手捧信纸，呆若木鸡，突然外面传来一阵喊杀声。
平时美貌多情的后妃也披头散发的跑了过来，小鸟似的依偎在他的怀里说：“大王，我怕，我怕，怎么办啊？小鬼们冲进来了！”阎王无语……

Introduce:Hades recently accept hind the wife of a prince, to find a place for hind the wife of a prince, he set " darkness management is in Dis " , pawn of the wife of a prince after letting, premier dark bound.
The various branch below agrees to maintain with Hades, establish various darkness government office in succession.
Very short time, each expenditure of Dis resembles barmy dough, fleeciness hair left.
Not a few days, the pay that links Hades did not leave quickly also to go out.
The wicked idea of Hades is much, his brows is knitted, plan on the heart comes.
Held plenary meeting of dark bound economy, discuss how the big question of broaden sources of income and reduce expenditure, shrunken deficit.
The decision on the meeting, to impish people collect " I love dark bound special tax " , to reduce impish people very heavy always burden, stipulate this duty cannot exceed 10% of impish average income.
The Hades after the meeting sent dark bound in person the 147th file, indicate various ghost mechanism to want to depend on file act.
Official of ghost of various ghost official people nauseating Li blood, one level land decides one form downward index, fulfil system of job responsibility.
Arrived very quickly most of basic level impish people on the body.
Impish people hear of hand in me of 10% to love dark bound tax even, at that time with respect to paralysis a big.
After awaking, wang Wu of bad luck devil says: "The duty of this duty of 10% and other adds up, the half that is our annual income is much, be no good, we cannot be handed in.
" the ghost of other also has the same feeling, chime in with others.
An extremely cruel and violent person is wrong etc right etc see do not close to come up duty, resemble Tuo Luo urgently turning all round on Yama hall euqally.
He thinks: These are impish people quality is really poor, do not agree even this bit of patriotic duty to hand in.
Then, difference of his life ghost calls up Confucius, say to him: "Kong Qiu, you had received sentence, had told learn, it is an educationist, I seal you to be propagandist head of a department, go those impish people teach one time, come up to taxation! " Confucius still was not crossed so high honor before one's death, feel extremely flattered at that time, fall on one's knees knock a few noisy heads, breathe out repeatedly Hades emperor bright.
After Confucius assumes office, published 500 articles one after another, what to resemble " the expression that paying tax is bound love the nether world " " special tax takes at ghost, use at ghost " " paying tax is the ghost with exalted morality, paying tax is mean and shameless ghost " " do not hand in duty birds and beasts to be inferior to " these …… articles are in instantly impish people among caused a mighty uproar, they still respect very much to Confucius, listen to him to say so, think oneself are the ghost with not exalted morality really.
To make a spirit that benefits dark group, make the spirit with an exalted morality, making is not the ghost that birds and beasts is inferior to, they were biting a tooth to give in duty.
Hades sees the measure result of Confucius is remarkable, admire his luxurious villa on the spot.
Did not pass how long, hades feels impoverished again, bag is hollow extensive, changed ghost mind again then.
He should close15711