坟墓

小时候的我，是个非常奇怪的孩子，有不少常人难以接受的怪癖，其中之一就是喜欢看坟墓。
说明一下，不是公墓里那些整齐排列的水泥墓，而是散落在山间地头的土坟。
小孩子凑在一块玩沙子，别人都堆房子车子什么的（尽管堆出的东西很抽象），唯独我一直堆坟墓，堆好了还兴奋地叫我妈来看，我妈恨透了我这个怪习惯。
那时我爸在城里工作，我妈在家乡小镇政府工作，我跟着我妈，经常要跟着她坐车下到各个乡里。
一路上我只要远远看见山上有坟包，就高兴地大喊：“妈妈，你看，坟墓耶！”全车的人都对我们侧目。
在乡间玩耍，我最喜欢到墓地里采花抓小虫子什么的，累了就往墓碑上靠。
为这些我妈没少说我，但我就是改不掉。
说来非常奇怪，在别人看来阴森的坟墓，在年幼的我看来却是个乐土，我只要看到坟墓，心里就会有种温暖和似曾相识的感觉。
而且我不记得幼时看到过什么不干净的东西，只是我妈后来跟我说我曾经看到过。
长到四五岁，我爸接我进城去念书，看到土坟的机会就少得多了，慢慢地，我对坟墓也就不那么感冒了。
但是每当组织郊游，在车上看到远山上的坟包，我还是感到很兴奋，只不过不敢表现出来。

人长大了，胆子却越来越小了。
现在的我看到坟墓，已经没有那么兴奋，有时甚至还有点怕，于是我以为自己已经完全没有这个怪癖了。
但是前不久我做了个梦，梦见自己回到山里玩，碧绿的梯田和青翠的树木，风景很是好看，但我总觉得有点美中不足。
终于我在一条田埂边看到了一座老坟，顿时感到非常兴奋，立刻跑过去看。
醒来后我对自己在梦中的反应很无语。

那时候我还有一个很不一般的怪处，就是喜欢往黑暗的地方躲，越黑暗越好，最好能伸手不见五指。
我一直弄不明白，为什么我有时候的表现显得不像一个人类。
我常常会突然无端地对所有人感到害怕，包括我的家人，一害怕就往暗处躲（乡下有很多可以藏身的地方，比如粮仓、木料堆、山洞什么的），如果听见脚步声，就心惊胆战，生怕那个人发现我会把我抓去。
独自呆在黑暗中，我反而感到安心。
到城里以后，住的是我爸单位盖的老式家属楼，结构不合理，有一间屋子只要把门关上，就完全不见光，于是被我家当成杂物间。
我常常会悄悄溜进去，把门关上，在里面坐上很久。
长大后，这一怪癖也消磨掉不少，我对黑暗已经有了一点恐惧，但是一到了睡觉的时候我还是向往黑暗的环境，只要稍微亮一点我都会很不安，很难入睡，结果养成了蒙头睡觉的坏习惯。

Introduce:In one's childhood I, it is a very strange child, have the eccentricity that many ordinary people accept hard, among them one of like to see graveyard namely.
Explain, either those are orderly in cemetery the cement grave that arrange, the earth that scatters in the edge of a field between hill however is graveyard.
Dot collect is playing sand together, others piles house car of what (the thing that although pile,gives is very abstract) , only alone I pile graveyard all the time, had piled to return agitato to call my Mom to look, my Mom hate appeared me this strange habit.
My pa works in the city in those days, my Mom works in government of home town small town, I follow my Mom, often want to follow her to take a car to leave each home village or town.
All the way I should see there is graveyard package on hill far only, cry gladly greatly: "Mom, you look, sepulchral Ye! " the person of whole vehicle is right our sidelong glance.
In country amuse oneself, I like to deflower in graveyard most catch small worm of what, tired lean toward gravestone.
Did not say me less for these my Mom, but I change to be not dropped namely.
It is very strange to say, look ghastly in others bloodcurdling is sepulchral, be in year young I look is however Elysian, I should see graveyard only, there can be kind of lukewarm thaw to be like the feeling that ever was acquainted in the heart.
And I do not remember young when the thing that has seen what is sordid, it is my Mom says with me I once had seen later only.
Grow, my pa receives me to go into town go studying, the opportunity that sees earthy grave is gotten less much, slowly, I am right sepulchral also not so cold.
But every time the school organizes an outing, see the grave on far hill is wrapped on board, I still feel very excited, just dare not show come.
The person was brought up, courage is smaller and smaller however.
I present see graveyard, had done not have so excited, still be afraid of a bit even sometimes, then I think I do not have this eccentricity already completely.
But before before long I made a dream, dream of oneself to return play in hill, dark green terraced field and fresh and green tree, the scenery is good-looking very, but I always feel to have bit of a blemish in an otherwise perfect thing.
Eventually I saw an old grave in edge of a ridge of field, feel special excitement immediately, run over to look immediately.
After awaking, I am in to oneself the reaction in the dream very without language.
Await me to still have in those days very differ the strange place like, like to hide toward dark place namely, jump over darkness to had been jumped over, best can stretch his hand not to see the five fingers.
I am done all the time not clear, why I occasionally expression appears unlike a mankind.
My constant regular meeting is unexpected ground of for no reason feels to everybody fear, include my family, fear to hide toward shadow (the place that countryside has a lot of to be able to hide, for instance batch pile of barn, wood, cave of what) , if hear footstep, with respect to shake with fear, then the individual discovers for fear that I can catch me.
Stay in darkness alone, I am turned over14937