儿童英语小笑话精选

1、Tell a lie

Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"

Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."


Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."


Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"

妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多？”

维克多：“我要那只最大的。”

妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。”

维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗？”

2、I Don't Like an Argument 我不想争论

Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?

It's round, answered Gerald.

How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.

All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!

杰拉尔德，老师问：地球是什么形状？

是圆形的，杰拉尔德回答道。

你怎么知道是圆的？老师又问。

好吧，那它是方的， 回答说：我可不想与你争论这件事情。

3、Two Birds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow.
Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

4、Three Turtles 三只乌龟

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.
Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."


The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."


"We won't," the other two promised.

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."


Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."


三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”

最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

5、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question.
Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？

汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。

父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的 们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？

汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

6、Where is the egg?鸡蛋在哪里?

老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词 吗?

学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。

老师：“鸡蛋”在哪?

学生：在蛋糕里，先生

Where is the egg?

Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?

Student:In the cake,Sir.

7、Powerful Evidence

Geography teacher: Xiao Qiang,give me three reasons to prove the earth is round.

Xiao Qiang: Mother says the earth is round.Father says the earth is round.And you say the earth is round.

强有力的证据

地理老师：小强，给我三条理由证明地球是圆的。

小强：妈妈说是圆的。爸爸说是圆的。您也说是圆的。

有趣的 三.I Will Not Take a Bath 我不能愿意洗澡

我不愿意洗澡，我不愿意进到浴缸里。上个星期我洗澡了，我不 再洗澡。我想要我的橡皮鸭子，一个水桶和一只船，我的玩具鲸鱼，一艘潜水艇，一个橡皮球。现在我不能洗澡了。浴缸太小了，它被玩具塞满了，没有我的地方了。

I will not take a bath, I won’t get in tub, I has bath last week.
I don’t need another scrub.
I would need my rubber ducky, a bucket and a boat, my toy whale, a submarine, a rubber ball.
No, I can not take a bath.
The tub is too small.
It’s all filled up with toy.
There’s no room for me.

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