经典逗趣英文一句话笑话

1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather..
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

3、Do not argue with an idiot.
He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it's still on the list.

5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

8、 Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

9、Some people are like Slinkies ...
not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

12、 Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake a whole relationship.

13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

15、Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.