生死薄

在前天收拾柜子的时候，我意外地发现了一样东西。
——一个画满了马脸的木头板。
或许是因为年代久远的缘故吧，这块木头板已经变成了黑色，上面还积满了灰尘。
当我拿起抹布轻轻擦拭它的时候，我不禁想起去世多年的爷爷。
思想把我带回到80年代。
那时，我只有7，8岁，而爷爷已经是80多岁了。
爷爷很疼爱我，——想到这里，我现在还鼻子酸酸的。
我记得他总是把我父亲和姑姑买给他的罐头藏在柜子里。
在我放学回来时，他会拿出一瓶启开，再哆哆嗦嗦的、用干瘪得老树皮一样的手把里面的桃子梨什么的倒出来，盛在小碗里给我。
当我让爷爷和我一块吃的时候，爷爷就会用小勺崴一口糖水，然后笑眯眯地对我说：“爷爷也吃呢，爷爷最爱吃罐头里面的糖水了。
” 我记得爷爷经常会拿出这块黑木板来瞧。
每当我凑过去，问：“爷爷看什么呢？”爷爷便会说：“爷爷在看生死簿呢，小文不能看。
”我当时已经很懂事，听了爷爷的话，便不再纠缠，跑到外面去玩了。
当爷爷不在的时候，我常听妈妈对爸爸说：“你爸还真迷信呢！天天看什么生死簿的。
”爸爸总是笑笑，便不说话。
我清楚的记得爷爷去世的那一天是正月十五。
他的身体本来一向不错。
但不知道为什么，从那年正月初一他患感冒开始，他便一直闷闷不乐，没事就拿出那个画了马脸的木头板，用他那蓄着长指甲的手指指着，翻来覆去的看。
自从爷爷去世之后，我就再没有见过这块木板。
爸爸只是曾经在饭桌上提起过它，好象是说什么那个画满了马脸的木板有预知生死的功能，丢了它很可惜之类的话，但是他总是被妈妈所打断：“不要在饭桌上给孩子灌输这些老迷信的思想！”妈妈每次总是很生气。
现在，这个被爷爷叫做生死簿的木板就拿在我的手里。
我摩挲着它，在心里面问自己：“这个东西到底怎么用呢？” 木板的上面画满了马脸，向各个方向的都有。
“这个就是牛头马面里面的马面吧？”我想。
我开始仔仔细细地看起来。
突然，我察觉到木板发生了变化！每个马脸都在动！特别是中间的那个大一些的马脸，它的嘴在一张一合！ 我感到头皮下面的压力在升高！我的太阳穴似乎已经变得冰冷！那个马脸分明是在说：“十三，十三”！ 我大叫一声撇下木板，趔斜着走到话机旁，哆哆嗦嗦地按下了我女友家的电话。
“阿莹，你快来！我好怕！我真的好怕！我要疯了！”我慌乱的说。
“怎么了，你？慢慢地说，出什么事了？”阿莹的语气中带着焦躁。
“不要问了，你快来！我怕得要死！快，要快！……”我语无伦次地说了好多，然后把话机抛得远远的。
木板刚才被丢在了厨房。
我把自己关进客厅，把门栓得紧紧的。
“十三，十三是什么意思？”我点燃一只烟，焦躁地渡着步。
我走到挂历旁，在那上面寻找着。
——今天正是阴历十三！ 我象是被人使了定身法，一动也不会动。
莫非，莫非今天就是我的死期？！ 一阵敲门声把我吓的跳起来！ “开门，是我！阿莹。
”哦，是阿莹，我心里稍稍缓和了一下，走过去开门。
坐在客厅的沙发上，我沉默着。
我实在是不想把我刚才所看到的可怕的事情告诉阿莹，——那样会吓着她的。
我默默地抽着烟，任凭阿莹在一旁高声数落着我。
毕竟，有阿莹在我身边，我的心里塌实多了。
我的情绪稍稍缓和了下来。
我们没有开灯，我感觉自己特别害怕日光灯管的那种眩目的亮光。
我一只接一只抽烟，却不去看阿莹，我只是需要有人和我做伴。
过了好久，阿莹渐渐的说累了，便不再做声。
于是，我转过去，想安慰她一下。
我看到了什么！ 马脸！一张马脸！那马脸就长在阿莹的头上！而那马脸的眼睛正象死鱼一般的瞪着我！ “怪物！怪物！”我大叫起来！ 我从沙发上一跃而起，抓住那马脸的头发向墙上撞去！一下，两下，三下，……！我要撞死它，我要撞死它！撞死它！  …… 当我从混乱中清醒过来时，我抱住了自己的头。
天哪！我到底做了什么！ 在我的脚下是满脸血污的阿莹……阿莹的脸和往日并没有什么不同……她的的确确的是阿莹——我的阿莹！

Introduce:When clearing away a cabinet the day before yesterday, I discovered same thing accidentally.
-- a picture became full horse-faced wood board.
It is probably because of the cause with ages ago time, this wood board had become black, still accumulate above full dirt.
When I take dishcloth to wipe it gently, I can't help remembering die old grandfather.
The thought brings back me to 80 time.
In those days, I have 7 only, 8 years old, and the grandfather has been many years old 80.
Grandfather very be very fond of me, -- think of here, I return nose acerbity sick at heart now.
The can that I remember him always buying my father and aunt to him hides in the cabinet.
Classes are over in me when coming back, he can take out a bottle to open, again of Duo shiver Suo, with shrivelled the teem of what comes to the peach pear inside the handgrip like old bark, fill I give in small bowl.
When I let grandfather and me eat together, the grandfather can use small spoon sprain a syrup, next smilingly ground says to me: "The grandfather also eats, the grandfather loves to eat the syrup inside can most.
" I remember grandfather classics regular meeting taking out this black board to come look.
Every time my collect goes, ask: "What does the grandfather see? " the grandfather can say: "The grandfather is reading book of life and death, little article cannot look.
" I at that time already very sensible, heard the grandfather's word, pester no longer, run to the outside to played.
When the grandfather is absent, I often listen to mom to say to father: "Your pa is really superstitious still! Read book of what life and death every day.
" father always laughs, do not talk.
One I am clear day that when write down so that the grandfather dies is the first month of the lunar year 15.
His body is original all along pretty good.
But do not know why, wherefrom year one his head cold at the beginning of the first month of the lunar year begins, he downhearted all the time, do not have a thing to took out that to draw horse-faced wood board, with his that harbour the finger of move long fingernail is pointing to, again and again look.
Since the grandfather after dying, I had not seen this board again.
Father once just had mentioned on dining table it, seeming is what to say that picture became full the function that horse-faced board has prescient life and death, lost it very regrettablly the word of and so on, but he always is interrupted by mom place: "Do not engraft to the child on dining table the thought of these old blind faith! " mom always is very angry every time.
Now, this is taken to be in my hand by the board that the grandfather calls life and death book.
My caress is worn it, oneself ask inside the heart: "How is this thing used after all? " of board above the picture became full horse-faced, to each direction have.
"Is this the equestrian aspect inside face of bovine lead horse? " I think.
I begin to look carefully.
Abrupt, I was aware of board to produce change! Every horse-faced moving! Especially among that a few bigger horse-faced, its mouth7321