浮沉心自知

小新大约有十几年没见过老同学大新了。
他俩自小名字相同，人也一起长大，可谓是光屁股的伙伴，但是高中毕业后各奔前程风卷云散，从来没写过信，那时候还没有，没有QQ群，也没有微信和微博，就此一去杳无踪迹。

第一次恢复联络，应该感谢当年那个文艺委员建了个QQ群(34356744)，那胖子不知怎么地一一联系到了全班的人，然后号召大家开了一次同学聚会。
聚会上有钱的开着进口宝马来，有关系的包了全场酒店经理还点头哈腰没敢收钱，更有全身珠光宝气来炫耀老公孩子贤惠漂亮的，独有小新一个人坐在窗台上看着众人发呆。
他不是不想吹牛，是没人跟他吹。
一帮老同学聊的太high了，男女都在喝酒，觥筹交错，双颊绯红，连黄色荤段子都来了。
这时才见包厢门口，大新姗姗来迟。

大新当天穿了一件半旧的白衬衫，脸色憔悴，进门局促地打了个招呼，就拉了张椅子坐下。
他近些年混得不好，在乡间开了个小杂货铺，生意惨淡，勉强糊口，老婆还总在生病。

小新却高兴了，一屁股坐在了大新的旁边，大新一直在叹气，要么看手机，一副百无聊赖的模样，目光看着小新发呆。
席间没人理他们。
俩哥们坐在一起叹气，大新点了根烟，也不在意旁边珠光宝气的女同学都厌恶地皱起了眉头。
小新絮絮叨叨说着这些年毕业后的生活，不时拍拍大新的肩膀，安慰他不必在意这些势力的同学。
大新初时还搭几句话，后来只是喝酒，摇摇头，说小新你不懂的，你一毕业就进了机关单位，混的风生水起，不会理解我们这些小老百姓的悲哀！

大新来的晚，一顿饭已吃的七七八八了，不一会儿就有人提议去KTV唱歌。
小新倒是无所谓，不过他担心大新不会去。
果然，大新就顺势推开椅子站了起来，局促地搓搓手，解释说家里老婆生病，孩子没人照顾。
文艺委员假惺惺地挽留了几句，大新便告辞准备走，目光在人群里逡巡了一圈，回头对小新尴尬地笑笑，全场只有小新一个人搭理他，他内心多少有点失望。
但他也没说什么，只是憨笑着，说老同学们这些年没见，好像都变了不少。

除了小新，没人接话。

大新便悻悻地走了。
胡乱扒了几口饭，连口热汤都没喝。
但在出门的时候，文艺委员还是拦住了他，递给他一本大红色的签名簿，然后说，聚会虽然吃饭不花钱，但是有活动经费，还买了花送给昔日的班主任，每人均摊两百块。
大新摸了摸口袋，只找出一张五十，还有几个钢镚儿。
文艺委员的脸色就黑了下来。

小新见状，连忙打圆场，替大新丢了两张百元大钞放在签名簿上。
大新便红了脸，木讷地喃喃自语道，没准备，真是不好意思。
小时候就总去小新家蹭饭，没想到多年后见面，还得小新替自己付钱。
小新宽容地笑笑，没说什么。

出了门，大新跨上破旧的二手自行车，回头看了看酒店里的辉煌灯火，不觉低下头，拳头捏的紧紧的。
小新追了出来，却不知道怎么安慰昔日这个最好的伙伴。
两人一前一后，慢悠悠地走着，大新竟似有些心不在焉，连车都没骑，根本不像回家的样子。
这时已大约晚上九点多钟了，大新晃到了一条人影稀少的街道，将车停在路边，从裤兜里拿住一个口罩，戴在脸上，守在aTm取款机边抽烟。
他挥挥手让小新回去，小新没奈何，便走了。

又过了一会儿，远远地来了个年轻女人，低头匆匆走着，也没看旁边，径直进了aTm取款小包间。
大新将烟头一丢，也跟了进去。

不许动！

那女人刚拿出银行卡插进去，就觉得脖子后凉飕飕地，架了一把刀。
大新低沉的声音在背后响起。
把你的钱都取出来，快点，不然要你的命！

那女人哆哆嗦嗦，手都抖了，却不敢不听话，哭丧着脸按下了银行密码。
眼看着一摞红色的百元大钞吐出来，大新一把就全部抓了过去，不许动，不许报警！一边说着，一边往后退。
眼看就要成功逃脱，冷不丁被身后的小新绊了一跤。

小新叹了口气，将钱都抢过来，一把扔给那个惊慌失措的女人。
然后拉起大新就跑，脚不点地，跑的飞快。
大新只觉得耳边呼呼生风，背后隐约传来那女人的尖叫和哭泣声，他想回头，却回不了，身体僵硬，竟然不一会儿就到了家，连反抗的机会都没有。
进门后只见病重的老婆还躺在床上，眼泪汪汪地看着他。

你知道吗，小新死了！老婆一开口就对他说。
刚才你去参加聚会的时候，小新的老婆打电话给我，也不知道怎么拿到我们家里的电话号码，说小新在参加同学聚会的路上被车撞了，在送去的时候最后一句话就是想见你。
多可怜的人啊！

大新一屁股坐在地上，脸色煞白，扭头看身后。
小新的身影已经渐渐变得虚空，越来越淡了。
但仍冲着他微笑，依稀在说，我虽然死了，但仍希望你好，虽然穷，千万不要去犯罪啊！你是我这世上最好的兄弟了！——声音也越来越淡，逐渐几不可闻。

几条街外，文艺委员打开签名簿，啊地一声，大叫道，不得了，谁这么恶作剧居然拿了纸钱来糊弄人啊！

KTV内一圈脑袋围上去，嘻嘻哈哈，只当做一个玩笑，转而继续引吭高歌。
没人在意饭席间早早离去的大新，更无人接到小新老婆的电话。
对于这群志得意满的人来说，这对倒霉的兄弟不过匆匆过客罢了。

人生在世，如鱼饮水，浮沉心自知。

Introduce:Small newly about ten years had not seen old schoolmate is old new.
They from pet name word identical, the person also is brought up together, it may be said is naked associate, but cirrus of wind of the each goes his own way after high school graduates comes loose, had never written a letter, that moment still does not have a network, without QQ group, also do not have small letter and small gain, go at this point disappear without a trace.
Renew contact for the first time, should thank in those days that literary committee member built a QQ group (34356744) , that fatso did not know to contact the person of whole class how one by one, next everybody drove the appeal the classmate meets.
There is entrance BMW richly to come on the party, wrapped full-court hotel manager relatively to return bow and scrape to dare not receive fund, more the whole body is richly bejewelled will show off husband child virtuous and beautiful, particular small new a person sits on windowsill to look at everybody to syare blankly.
He is not not to think boast, it is nobody is blown with him.
A gang old schoolmate chats too High, the men and women is drinking, toast each other, double buccal bright red, duan Zi came to even maize meat or fish.
Just see balcony doorway at this moment, be late newly greatly.
Wore a half old white shirt newly that day greatly, complexion is gaunt, made a call constraintly into the door, pulled piece of chair to sit down.
He is some closer year mix badly, a small variety shop opened in country, the business is gloomy, earn one's tucker, the wife in the home is falling ill always still.
Small new glad however, one buttock sits in big on the side of new, be in newly all the time greatly sigh, or sees a mobile phone, a pair of bored to death about, the look is looked at small new bemused.
The nobody between banquet manages they.
Two brothers sit together to sigh, lighted root cigarette newly greatly, also pay no attention to on the side the female classmate that be richly bejewelled detests the ground pursy brows.
Be favored with of long-winded of little new long-winded is saying these year of life after graduation, often pat pat big new shoulder, comfort him to need not care about the classmate of these force.
Big new first when still take a few words, just drink later, shake shake one's head, say small new you do not understand, you graduated to take office unit, the wind unboiled water that mix rises, won't understand us the distress of these young common people! Big newcome is late, a meal already had 7788, do not offer to go with respect to somebody a little while KTV sings.
Small be indifferent to newly however, nevertheless he worries to won't go newly greatly.
As expected, pushed a chair newly to stand with respect to take advantage of an opportunity greatly, constraint rub wash one's hands with invisible soap and imperceptible water, the explanation says the wife in the home falls ill, nobody takes care of the child.
The ground persuaded hypocritically of literary committee member to stay a few, big new say good-bye preparation goes, the look hesitated to move forward in the crowd circuit, laugh to little new awkward ground later, full-court has only small new a person responds him, more or less does his heart have bit of disappointment.
But what did he say, it is simper is worn only, say old fellow students these year did not see, seemed to change8472